Tonight I sat with with my 7 year-old bio son and sobbed with him. Deep sobs; the kind that have been waiting to burst for days, maybe weeks. We were sitting together talking about how he was feeling having young foster kids with us, and his words were tough, "mom, it's just so hard". I cried with him and said, "oh I know, it is so, so, so hard!". I held him and sobbed along with him, then I said. "Sometimes the things God asks us to do are the hardest, the very hardest." My next thought was to say, 'but oh the treasures in heaven, and oh the rewards of helping someone in need, and oh how joyful we are in God's will'. Instead, I stayed quiet, and just cried and held. He doesn't know yet that out of ashes, God rebuilds, he doesn't know yet that brokenness leads to healing, he doesn't understand the wonder and beauty that comes from walking out God's will; so very difficult, yet the most fulfilling.
We have had a foster placement now for a couple months. They will stay long-term ( in the foster system this could be a few weeks to a couple years...or for however long God allows us to be their family). I wish I could tell you all about them, I wish I could send pictures and talk about them, but I can't. I can't tell you about joyous and funny moments, heartbreaking stories, things they do and say that make us angry, sad, happy, bewildered; all the above. Let me just say, that what we expect to happen with adoptions or foster care, is rarely what ever happens. To do foster care, is to truly stand with your hand wide open, ready to welcome and ready to say goodbye. These children are in need of someone to meet their every need, and not just their immediate needs, but past needs. It is a lot! Every moment calls for dependence on Jesus. There is no way our family could do this without the minute to minute presence of our Savior. It means everyone pitching in and helping, it means giving up activities and space, it means being emotionally exhausted yet finding more to give.
Several weeks ago we took them to the pool and discovered this was a brand new experience for one of them. Fear took hold, and the pool became a horrid abys waiting to swallow this child up, or so they thought. Patience and time was needed. Several trips to the pool and this child went from sitting on the edge with just a toe in, to floating in a Puddle Jumper all on their own, to actually jumping off the side into our arms. As I watched these precious ones gather the courage to jump from the side of the pool into the water and into our arms, Jesus showed me a beautiful picture. "Melissa, Michael, Hewitt family; you jumped!!!" As if a parent was cheering us on, encouraging us, helping us trust, Jesus threw back his head and yelled with glee. "I told you I would catch you!" You see, He has so much more patience. He has so much more love than we can ever have. He waited while we dangled our toe in the water, gradually working our way into the pool, then built up the courage to jump. I think with most things, Jesus is waiting for us to trust Him enough to jump. And in order to jump, we must abandon all footing, we must give up what we think we know, we must leap into the unknown. The difference, DON'T MISS THIS, is who you are jumping to. I can leap into the unknown when I trust my Savior to catch me, to keep me from drowning, to support me, to be my everything.
So if you ask us how we are doing these days, you will probably get an answer like, well we are surviving, or we are okay. Because we are learning that after that jump into the pool, we have to completely rely on Jesus to sustain us, to keep us afloat, to hold us up and teach us to swim with Him. This is HARD! I mean chew-you-up, spit-you-out hard. It has challenged us to work on our relationship in our family, to operate unselfishly, and to grow amazing amounts of patience (we have failed miserably several times on this one - THANK JESUS FOR GRACE). But...love the buts...we are growing and learning, and most of all resting in the arms of our Savior. We are seeing knew strengths in each member of the family and working on weaknesses. We are learning that life is broken and hard and we are called to give the love of Jesus even if it means walking into horrible places, collecting the shattered pieces and giving them to God believing for healing. It means, not turning a blind eye, it means getting out of our comfort zone and placing ourselves at "risk".
I want to ask you a question. Are you comfortable? Do you think someone else will always step-up and take care of the needs? Do you think that the people in ministry, missions, helping in some way have some strength that you don't have, therefore eliminating the need for you? They don't. We don't. The Hewitt family is not more gifted, more patient, stronger, more anything...we have nothing but the grace of God and his strength. So this is my challenge to you: if you know God is calling you to do something, JUMP! Don't sit on the side of the pool with just one toe in. Just JUMP! If you are a believer in Christ you ARE being called to jump in somewhere. It might not be helping foster care or adoption, or meeting the needs of the hungry, or missions, but trust me, God is calling you.
The real calling is not to a certain place or career,
but to everyday obedience.
And that call is extended to every Christian, not a select few
-Brother Andrew
If you are a believer in Jesus, I beg of you not to stand by, spending most of your life being afraid to jump. Thinking your toe dipped in the water is the same as swimming. It is scary, and hard, and tough, but God is there in that scary and in the hard and that is what makes the difference. The need is so, so, huge; all you have to do is look around. People are suffering, children are hurting, souls are longing for Jesus! If you are a child of God, you have what it takes to go where He calls you...because you have HIM.
JUMP
God bless you for your Love.
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